


give me some morphine

by shadesofcool



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, just two dumb angsty boys, that's...that's it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 16:15:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17922146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadesofcool/pseuds/shadesofcool
Summary: Alex and Kyle have been hanging out again lately but it's the first time Michael sees them. He definitely doesn't care, like. At all.





	give me some morphine

Michael is sitting at the bar, staring into the glass of whiskey mixed with acetone in front of him, his third in the past hour or so. An hour and 38 minutes, to be exact - he knows it because he also has been glancing over at the clock on the wall ever since _they_  walked in. Maria gave him side eyes when he kept asking for another drink in a short time, but knew that if she didn't give it to him, he would probably help himself anyway. And that's definitely not something she's fond of – so with slight worry in her eyes, she poured the next, and the next.

He wasn't meant to have more than one glass, really, but when Alex walked through the door with Kyle beside him, a smile on both of their faces, his insides were all but begging for something to ease the confusion and worry at the sight. He overheard Liz and Maria's conversation about it the other day, how Alex and Kyle have been working out their issues, and however genuine it all sounds, Michael can't ignore how off it feels, the way it makes his skin crawl. But Kyle is a better person now apparently, and he can't deny the smile on Alex's face doesn't look pained, so he stays put and doesn't interfere. His eyes never leave them, though.

When he spots them standing up from the corner of his eyes, walking to the exit, he looks away but listens closely. Ready to step in if something does end up happening. They say their goodbyes to each other though as Kyle walks out and Michael smells Alex's cologne before he can see him. He straightens his back, downing the rest of what's left in his glass and calls for Maria for another one.

Alex then sits down next to him with a bit of struggle, his hand lazily resting on his crutch at his side. Michael cups his hands around the empty glass and turns his head to the opposite direction, letting out a quiet sigh. Then before he turns back, he puts on a smile that he hopes is convincing. But Alex knows him, so he doesn't bother when it turns bitter as he speaks.

"So you and Valenti." he looks at Alex's profile, "You're besties again?"

Alex meets his eyes, a shiver running up Michael's neck, and he suddenly feels so close – but not close enough. "Why do you care?"

Michael averts his gaze, just a little above his cheekbones, "I don't." he looks back then shrugs. "You just seemed pretty cozy back there." he lowers his voice, "After all that he put you through."

He wishes he didn't bring it up as Alex turns away and squirms visibly in his seat. But before he could say anything else, Alex lets out a small exhale and places his free hand on top of the wooden surface, eyeing at it as he replies.

"I'm trying to forgive him." Michael nods at that, pressing his tongue against the back of his teeth. Alex raises his eyebrows at him - and it's endearing, almost comical how they move, Michael has to stare at them for a moment -, and dares a little teasing smile play out on his face. "Are you worried about me?"

Michael snorts but his heart misses a beat and his body starts to feel warm as he searches for Maria. He needs a second to be able to look at him again. Maybe it's his secretly mixed alcohol finally getting to him but maybe it's the look in Alex's eyes that cut his way into him, which is the opposite of his playful smile; serious and wondering. Or maybe Michael is reading into it.

Alex's voice is quieter this time, leaning into him a little, his breath hitting Michael's skin making his ears ring and he nearly doesn't hear him. "Or are you jealous?"

Michael snaps his head to look at him and he's closer than he thought he would be. He swallows past the lump in his throat, eyes sharp, following Alex as he moves back away.

Then he feels cold against his palms and when he checks, Maria is pouring the drink, expression disapproving.

"Slow down." she says simply before she walks away, giving Alex a concerned look and all Michael can do is roll his eyes. He knows she's right.

But Michael takes a sip, the taste not quite the same without the acetone. When he glances at Alex, his eyebrows are furrowed deeply, watching the glass in Michael's hands.

"Why should I be?" Michael asks then, breaking Alex out of his train of thoughts. When he stares at him confused, Michael tilts his head. "Jealous." He tries to hold an emotionless face, "You said there's nothing going on. Plus," he lifts the glass to his lips, "We're not together." he presses the thumb of his other hand against his palm as he drinks.

Alex searches his face for what feels like very, very long minutes and keeping his gaze becomes harder and more painful. Eventually he answers and the noise around Michael is back, not even realizing that for the moment all he heard was his own heartbeat loud in his ears.

"Actually, I didn't say that."

Michael frowns, "What?"

Alex shakes his head and his tongue wets his bottom lip in a quick movement, Michael's eyes dropping to it immediately. "I didn't say there was nothing between me and Kyle."

Michael bites the inside of his cheek, eyes not leaving his. Alex's shoulders tense up and the bottle of acetone inside of Michael's pocket feels heavier now and Michael wishes he could just take a swig out of it. He raises his eyebrow with a nod instead and a laugh that tastes sour leaves his mouth, his head dropping.

"As I said," he eyes the scar on his hand, "I don't care."

"Alright." Alex lets out a puff of air through his nose, not missing a beat. "This is ridiculous."

He positions the crutch on his arm, holding himself up with his other hand on the bar. Michael considers helping him, freeing his hand as it falls on his thigh, ready, but Alex gives him a look and Michael doesn't move.

Until Alex's leg gives out for a second and he stumbles a bit as he hurries to put his full weight on his other leg. Michael's body turns and his arm reaches out to hold at his hips, keeping him steady. It feels like slow motion waiting for Alex to lift his gaze to look at him, and when he does, he ignores his eyes burning into his own, he ignores his racing heart making its way up to his throat. And he ignores the way Alex is practically standing between his thighs – because if it were a perfect moment, he would pull him down for a sweet kiss and Alex would awkwardly chuckle into his neck, complaining about his leg being a bit too tired.

Instead, Michael clenches his jaw which Alex copies and Michael's fingers squeeze his hip through his clothes just enough that he feels the pressure. Alex's brows furrow but his eyes become softer around the edges. It warms Michael's heart and he lets himself enjoy it, lifting his other arm to place on the other side of his body, to pull him closer – but then Alex moves and breaks out of Michael's hold, looking around the bar.

Michael's head falls, holding his hands up before they meet his thighs with a muted thud. He shakes his head, feeling stupid, then he lets out a loud sigh.

Alex starts to walk away but stops when Michael calls out his name.

Michael turns around to look at him, finding Alex already looking back. "Just," he bites down on his tongue for a beat. "Be careful."

"Yeah." Alex's voice is breathy and weak. He drops his gaze from Michael's eyes and nods towards the half empty glass in front of him and waits for Michael to look as well. When their eyes meet again, Alex puts his guard up. "You too."

Michael watches through the mirror in front of him as he leaves, his nostrils flaring with a deep breath. He glances at the whiskey and thinks about pulling out the acetone, but then he catches his own eyes in the mirror and the next thing he knows, he's pushing the glass to the side.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!:) i'm on [tumblr!](http://michalienguerin.tumblr.com)


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